THE MINISTRY OF RECONCILIATION

This Sunday at Victory Church our family theme of the week was reconciliation.  In our Sunday school lesson this week we discovered…

1.  Our sin created a gap between God and us. (Eph 2:1-3)
2.  Jesus Christ bridges the gap between God and us. (Eph 2:4-7)
3.  Good works cannot bridge the gap between God and us. (Eph 2:8-10)
4.  Jesus Christ bridges the gap between races. (Eph 2:11-18)
5.  Jesus Christ makes us stones in the building of God’s holy temple. (Eph 2:19-22)

Our memory verse for the week was Ephesians 2:4-5 (HCSB) But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, 5 made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By grace you are saved!

Below is my sermon outline titled "The Ministry of Reconciliation."

WHY IS RECONCILIATION IMPORTANT?

1. Reconciliation can transform hopeless relationships. 

Paul urged Philemon to be reconciled to his slave and to receive him as a brother and fellow member of God's family. Reconciliation means reestablishing relationship. Christ has reconciled us to God and to others. Many barriers come between people—race, social status, sex, personality differences—but Christ can break down these barriers. Jesus Christ changed Onesimus's relationship to Philemon from slave to brother. Christ can transform our most hopeless relationships into deep and loving friendships.

(Philemon 1:15-16) Perhaps you could think of it this way: Onesimus ran away for a little while so you could have him back forever. He is no longer just a slave; he is a beloved brother, especially to me. Now he will mean much more to you, both as a slave and as a brother in the Lord. 

2. Reconciliation is the central message of the gospel.

God brings us back to himself (reconciles us) by blotting out our sins (see also Ephes. 2:13-18) and making us righteous. We are no longer God's enemies, or strangers or foreigners to him when we trust in Christ. Because we have been reconciled to God, we have the privilege of encouraging others to do the same, and thus we are those who have the "task of reconciling people to him."

2 Corinthians 5:16-21 (HCSB) From now on, then, we do not know anyone in a purely human way. Even if we have known Christ in a purely human way, yet now we no longer know Him like that. 17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. 18 Now everything is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed the message of reconciliation to us. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ; certain that God is appealing through us, we plead on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God.” 21 He made the One who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

 3. Reconciliation heals broken relationships.

These are Jesus' guidelines for dealing with those who sin against us.

They were meant for (1) Christians, not unbelievers, (2) sins committed against you and not others, and (3) conflict resolution in the context of the church, not the community at large. 

Jesus' words are not a license for a frontal attack on every person who hurts or slights us. They are not a license to start a destructive gossip campaign or to call for a church trial. They are designed to reconcile those who disagree so that all Christians can live in harmony.

 

Matthew 18:15-20 (NIV) "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. 18 "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.     19 "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

SEVEN STEPS TO RECONCILIATION

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation, nor is reconciliation always possible or advisable. 

• We can’t be reconciled to the parent that abused us, but who has passed away.  But in order to live, we must offer forgiveness.
• It might not be advisable to be reconciled to the spouse with a proven track record of abuse.  But we must offer and experience forgiveness.  

The bible says, by all means possible, as far as it depends on you, be reconciled. 

• Reconciliation can happen only in light of forgiveness. 
• Reconciliation is what God is all about. 
• Reconciliation is the story, the theme, of the bible.
• The one word explanation of the bible is Reconciliation.

Here’s the reality that the bible describes for us: there is a profound interconnection between the vertical and the horizontal.  There is a profound and undeniable interrelation between you and God, and you and others.  And it goes something like this – if you have a problem with a person; you are going to have a problem with God.  If you are not reconciled with your brother, then there’s going to be a problem in your reconciled relationship with God.  Now I may not like that, but that’s how it works.  God refuses to accept our worship in isolation from the rest of our lives. 

The forgiveness and reconciliation we experience vertically – must change how we live horizontally. 

Jesus tells gives us the best instructions on how to do it.  It’s so simply, that it’s almost insulting. It's seven simple steps found right in Matthew 18:15.  It’s a verse easy enough to memorize, and deep enough to change our lives:

Matthew 18:15 (NIV) If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

John Ortberg, from his book Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them, breaks it down for us:

1.    If there is conflict
2.    You
3.    Go
4.    To the person
5.    In Private
6.    Discuss the problem
7.    For the purpose of reconciliation

STEP #1 - ADMIT THERE IS A CONFLICT

Let’s be honest, Jesus is just being nice.  If there’s conflict?  When there is conflict.  If you spend any amount of time with any person, and there will be conflict. It is inevitable. 

Conflict is going to happen when you get two (2) messed up people together.  And imagine how much conflict is going to happen when you get a whole bunch of messed up people together.  What do you call a whole bunch of messed up sinners that get together?  Oh yeah- church!  Conflict is going to happen in our marriage, our family, our work, our neighborhoods, and even our church.

STEP #2 - YOU MUST INITIATE RECONCILIATION, DON’T WAIT FOR THE OTHER PERSON.

You must not put it off until tomorrow.  You must not allow wishful thinking, like it will magically go away, enter your head; We may prefer to stay in isolation licking our wounds.  In fact, we would prefer to do just that.  We by nature do not want to take responsibility for conflict.  Yet Jesus is clear: you must do something about it.  Notice that even if the sin is against you, you must engage the process of reconciliation.  And how do you do that?

STEP #3 - GO

Going is necessary.  But it’s no fun to go – at least not for reconciliation. 

Here’s a word of warning- some people really like to go when they are going into battle instead of reconciliation. Sadly, most of the time when people go, they are not going to make peace; they are going to make war. 

STEP #4 - GO TO THE PERSON.

So many are great at admitting the conflict.  They are fine with involving themselves.  They are more than happy to go. But they go to everyone but the person! They’ll go to their spouse, their pastor, their hairstylist, their coworker, everyone, except the person. 

STEP #5 - GO TO THE PERSON IN PRIVATE

Go in a way that guards the other person’s reputation. Go in a way that will free them to be open, honest, and real with you. Go in a way that the matter can be settled and no one, that doesn’t need to know, knows. 

STEP #6 - DISCUSS THE PROBLEM

Here again, if you’ve gone this far, go all the way. Don’t talk about the weather.  Don’t talk about what’s happening at the church.  Discuss the problem and do it directly.  How good have we become at talking around problems?

Communication experts talk about the 10% rule. In too many conversations and confrontations, we fail to go the final and most important 10%.  Go the last 10%.  Go all the way.

STEP #7 - THE PURPOSE IS RECONCILIATION

The hope, the prayer, the point, the purpose is reconciliation!   A right and restored relationship that is open, honest, trusting, joyful, and life giving.  That is the whole point.

Does reconciliation always happen? Sadly it does not.  Gladly, Jesus’ instructions do not end there.  He tells is if all this has failed then comes the time to involve others.  Make sure it is few, only one or two, and make sure they may actually be able to help the situation. Include the person that can actually bring trust, perspective, insight and help to the conflict.  

And still, if after this confrontation, if the conflict hasn’t been resolved, it’s time to take it to the church. Now what I’m not saying here is jump up in the middle of worship and call someone to the carpet!  No, in fact, that would be disrupting worship and would be an offense to God.  Go to the church leadership.  Go to your deacon, and discuss the problem.

Conflict happens … reconciliation is available.

Matthew 18:15 (NIV) If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

Conclusion:  Is there a relationship in your life that is broken and needs to be restored?

How is your relationship vertically?  How are your relationships horizontally?